Top 10 Bush AWOL responses

by on February 9th, 2004

Top 10 responses by Bush apologists to the AWOL charge:

1. Bush got an honorable discharge so that proves he did everything he was required to do and nothing else matters. (But why did he blow off his flight physical in ‘72?) LaLaLaLaLaLaLa!!! I’m not listening anymore! LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa!!!

2. No one ever formally charged him with being AWOL so you can’t say that he was AWOL.

3. A couple of Bush’s buddies remember him saying he was leaving to go to guard drill during the Alabama senate campaign. That’s good enough for us.

4. Brig. Gen. William Turnipseed, who commanded the Alabama guard unit, says that although he never saw Bush or knew of any Texan in his unit in 1972, he wasn’t physically present on base the whole time so he could have just missed him.

5. A torn document that the Bush campaign dug up in 2000 proves that Bush really only missed 7 months of guard drill and then made up for it in a burst of drills right before getting his discharge 8 months early so he could go back to MBA school.

6. This all happened a long time ago and shouldn’t count anymore. The only thing that matters is that we got Saddam.

7. Bush had been trained to fly a plane that was being phased out by the military so he wasn’t going to go to Vietnam anyway.

8. Flying airplanes is dangerous even if you’re not getting shot at.

9. Clinton got away with it, why can’t Bush?

10. Oh yeah!? Well, at least he didn’t protest against the war with Jane Fonda!

Mike Thomas