How to Help the Public Relations of Halliburton and Dick Cheney with One Ad

by on February 11th, 2004

When I turned on MSNBC this evening to get my daily dose of spin, I noticed the Halliburton new ad (I usually do), which was simplistic in its approach, just the current CEO, seated on a stool, talking to the viewers. It was intimate, friendly.

Why the PR campaign, I thought to myself, I’m not even a stockholder.

And then, as the commercial was ending, with their new slogan “Proud to be Supporting Our Troops” fading in under their logo, I had an idea.

An idea to bump up the PR of both Halliburton and the White House, to show that they’re comfortable in intimate settings, and to show that they are still “supporting our troops.”

The idea: Keep the ad approximately the same, but replace the current CEO of Halliburton with Dick Cheney. Here’s a simple, but effective example:

Fade in as Dick Cheney sitting upright on a stool on a bare stage.

Dick Cheney: Hi, I’m Dick Cheney. Former CEO of Halliburton.


Dick Cheney: (focusing on his audience by looking at his audience -no sneering) I know a lot of people criticize Halliburton, but the truth is, a lot of people don’t know the facts.

Zoom in slowly

DC: Just because there is criticism does not mean there is failure. And the truth of the matter is that we haven’t let the critics…

cut to images of troops living pretty comfortable in their quarters, receiving food and medical attention

DC: …stop us from accomplishing what we were sent out there with them to do. Support them with whatever resources we have available to us.

cut back to Dick Cheney’s face

DC: I am proud to have worked with Halliburton in the past. And I am happy to be your sitting Vice President. And we’re proud to support our troops because of what we know, not who we know. And I will not shirk from my duties as Vice President, no matter what the critics say about Halliburton or me because I am proud enough just to support our troops.

cut to an Iraqi sandstorm, howling winds

DC: Are you?

Fade to black as volume from winds increases like a crescendo, kind of like the end of Apocalpyse Now

Okay I admit the question at the end with the sandstorm is a bit dramatic, but whatever. I like this because, like I said, it helps people understand that what Halliburton and the White House really have in common is desire. A common desire to support the troops.

At least, I think…

Edward E.J. Davis