Kerry’s secret plan [for dealing with Iraq is] to convince France and the U.N. to help us get out of Iraq. To you and me, asking France to help you win a war is like asking your mother-in-law to help settle a family quarrel. But according to Kerry, asking France to help win a war makes the war “sensitive” because, as everyone knows, France is more sensitive than the United States, just as liberals are more sensitive than conservatives. In fact, to be liberal is to be French, even if only in spirit.
For a good example of how a sensitive, Frenchified foreign policy works, let’s look at the warring, unhappy natives in faraway Darfur, a dusty stretch of the Sudanese way-outback. According to the U.S. Congress, there’s a genocide going on in Darfur, and if we apply John Kerry’s secret plan, it’s all being handled just right.