I would have written sooner, but I just couldn’t drag myself from the redwood hot tub.
My wife and I, her lesbian lover and six or seven of our liberal friends and acquaintances were just having such a great time. Who would have thought that group sex would be so hot in our fifty’s. It must be the Pilates.
But the Marijuana is gone so I might as well say a few words about the implications of the Connecticut Senate Race. And besides, George McGovern is coming over and somebody’s got to let him in. And you can’t hear the doorbell from the hot tub
It seems that my “liberal” friends and I who supported Ned Lamont in the Connecticut Senate race have been encouraging Al Qaida terrorists, so much so that they immediately hatched a plan to rush onto jumbo jets and light their Gatorade on fire. If I had only known, I would never have dared to express my constitutional rights at the voting booth. I’ve thought about trying to change my vote, but I figure if it’s really important, George or Dick will change it for me anyway. Maybe they can just throw it out.
Apparently by supporting Lamont, some Democrats are sending a message that America is in danger of being taking over by an “angry left fringe” who are planning to give Osama Bin Laden the keys to the Capitol. Gee, I just thought that I was agreeing with the 60 percent of American people who think that maybe going to war in Iraq for bogus reasons wasn’t really such a good idea and disapprove of the President’s job performance. And I’ll be honest with you, like more than half of Americans, this gig in Iraq and the war on terror aren’t really making me feel a whole lot safer. I guess I just thought that maybe it would a good idea to have a Senator who would whisper something in the President’s ear besides “atta boy” now and then.
But now that the Republican National Committee has put out its talking points making clear that Democrats have sold out our national security interests to terrorists and that Republican candidates will certainly benefit from the terrorism issue, I can see that I was mistaken. I know that some of my friends on the liberal fringe think the renewed effort to define Democrats as weak on national security amounts to little more than an effort to scare Americans into voting for Republicans in the upcoming Congressional elections. But I think that it’s more like Rep. Tom Reynolds, R-N.Y., the chairman of the House Republicans’ campaign committee said immediately after Lamont’s victory, “National Democrats are stone-cold guilty of engaging in a reckless and irresponsible pattern of neglect for the security of our citizens.” I mean, he wouldn’t try to use the terrorism issue to “benefit’ Republican candidates, would he?
In joining with the majority of Americans concerned about the conduct of the war and the policies of the Bush administration it’s apparent I have become part of the Anti-American “Angry Left Fringe.” Even though my wife and I have been married 25 years, are raising two kids and working like dogs to pay our mortgage and our taxes I can see now why our support of a candidate who thinks it might be a good idea to ask a question now and then about the Bush administrations management of the war on terror might make some people think we are a couple of America hating radicals. Next thing you know we will be joining up with that “fringe group” made up of the 50 percent of Americans who, according to the recent poll by the Washington Post, disapprove of the Presidents job performance on combating terrorism. I mean, what do these people expect? Do they think the President should have focused on catching Osama Bin Laden or implementing the recommendations of the 9-11 Commission or something?
At first I found being labeled “fringe” by the Bush/Cheney folks a little confusing, but then I remembered that the Republicans now get to “make up their own reality. That’s why even though my opinions seem to match up with the majority of Americans I can now understand why Karl Rove is telling everyone that folks like me are just a bunch of liberal nut jobs who are planning to rerun the 1972 election.
Well, that’s all for now. McGovern’s limo is here and I wouldn’t want the Chardonnay to get warm. He has Gary Hart, Warren Beatty and some girl named Donna with him and we are going to stay up planning our election strategy. It’s going to be a late night, but that’s o.k. Us “godless liberals” don’t have to get up and go to church anyway.